End Game - the sinister world of the non-native pick-up artists working in Korea.
With their sexist beliefs and toxic behaviour patterns, “pick-up artists” have been training men and how to appeal to women for decades. Here, we take a look at the sinister world of the pick-up artists working in Korea.
I first met Blake outside of a restaurant in a satellite town on the outskirts of Seoul. It was the kind of area small enough that unconnected foreigners would greet each other. After saying hello, Blake, a genial-seeming, unkempt American in his mid-30s, smiled at me, shook my hand, and introduced me to his girlfriend. We talked briefly about the area, exchanged contact details, and went on our way. The next day, I got a message from Blake: "Dude, are we Eskimo brothers?"
Eskimo brothers, he explains, is when two men have had sex with the same partner at different times. He is asking me this because he has seen that we have a mutual friend on Facebook. After telling him that I only know that person because of a work-related thing, he drops it and begins to offer me his services.
Blake is a pick-up artist, though he speciously describes himself as a "dating coach." Since the 1977 book How To Pick Up Girls, PUAs have been giving men lessons on attracting women. Over the last 50 years, it has evolved into its own subculture. Through books like 2005's The Game and the controversial website Return of Kings, the pick-up artists and their disciples have developed a community akin to that of the world of self-help gurus but with more vitriol and toxicity.
In 2014, following a successful pressure campaign from feminist groups, the Korean government blocked entry to notorious pick-up artist Julien Blanc. Around that same time, Blake started his own PUA business called "Game in Korea." For a fee, Blake will teach you his personal approach to meeting Korean women (he is quite specific about the Korean part) and securing sexual encounters. His lessons often take the form of face-to-face coaching, exercises, and how-to videos. More often than not, they will involve some field training: going to clubs, bars, cafes, and subway stations to harass random women in public. The students are here to improve what is known as "game,"; the projection of a confident and "dominant" version of themselves that will appeal to more females.
He isn't alone, though; Blake is part of a small network of non-native PUAs working in Korea. Heath, another "dating coach", runs the website "Meet Girls Korea." Both Heath and Blake have sites where they regularly post articles and podcasts full of advice and stories for prospective players, including a section where the two buddies interview each other.
“Like much of PUA culture, its tone is intentionally reminiscent of self-help books. By selling their services in a certain way, PUAs like to argue that they’re doing something positive, despite the evidence to the contrary. In their view, these teachings “aim to help you achieve the best possible you.””
Relative to most in the community, Heath's tone is less explicit. He generally stays away from aggressive slurs, and derogatory comments about women are kept to a minimum. Instead, Heath focuses on the male part of the equation. He pushes his students to improve their presentation (through fashion and a healthy lifestyle) and to become more confident through pop psychology techniques.
Heath's site has a veneer of mental health positivity. Like much of PUA culture, its tone is intentionally reminiscent of self-help books. By selling their services in a certain way, PUAs like Heath want to argue that they're doing something positive, despite the evidence to the contrary. In their view, these teachings "aim to help you achieve the best possible you." It's "actually about becoming a more confident and assertive version of yourself." What, they would assert, could be wrong with that?
The issue is that PUAs aren't helping you improve your confidence so that you can achieve career goals or have more fulfilling relationships. They want to help you interfere directly in strangers' lives by essentially bothering women on the street. "Street game," as Heath calls it, is a big part of his teaching philosophy and something he does not shy away from pushing on his students. In an article about the different responses you get when you approach women during the daytime, Heath describes what he calls "The Dismissive Move". This is when a woman you attempt to talk to shows no interest and brushes you off. "Most girls (especially the better-looking ones) do this instinctively to filter out pussies, nerds, wannabe players, and idiots," he writes dispiritingly. While most men would take The Dismissive Move as an indication that the approached person is not interested in talking to them, Heath does not. He advises his clients to view this as a "screening mechanism" that can be overcome with further harassment. "The woman usually needs to be shifted emotionally or, you could say "won over," by enduring their obviously harsh reactions."
Often, Heath leans heavily into unflattering depictions of Asian women, explicitly saying that they have the "psychological archetype of a cat." In an episode of his podcast, Heath catalogues a series of sexual encounters (when he "went to bang city") he's had with different women. During the episode, Heath breaks down the best area to meet bar "hostesses" who should be targeted because they are more likely to be promiscuous.
“Most articles on the “Game in Korea” site are a barrage of regressive attitudes and slurs. He regularly refers to Korean women (or “K-girls”) as “animals”. With reckless abandon, he uses pejoratives like “slut”, “whore”, and “slumpbuster” (a woman that is so unattractive that they should only be considered for sex if you need to break a dry spell). ”
While Heath's site can be considered relatively less hostile in its tone, his compadre Blake's site takes that hostility to a whole new level. Unlike Heath, he does not attempt to hide the uglier aspects of his rhetoric behind pseudo-affirmative self-help language. Instead, Blake luxuriates in vitriolic, often aggressive wording.
Most articles on the "Game in Korea" site are a barrage of regressive attitudes and slurs. He regularly refers to Korean women (or "K-girls") as "animals". With reckless abandon, he uses pejoratives like "slut", "whore", and "slumpbuster" (a woman that is so unattractive that they should only be considered for sex if you need to break a dry spell). He regularly rates groups of women out of ten for looks (sometimes breaking them down into "with" and "without makeup" or even "before" and "after surgery."). It's a vast chasm of hostile ideas and language.
Seemingly, Blake's magnum opus is his breakdown of the 17 different types of Korean women. He places this analysis at the forefront of videos and podcasts. It even has its own banner on the top of his homepage. Here, Blake crams every woman in Korea (or at least the ones he considers worth pursuing sexually) into 17 different categories. These invariably scornful sections include labels such as "The Slut", "The Money Grubber," "The Obsessive Lover," and "Husband Hunters." These entries come with a rating out of 10 for looks, the percentage likeliness of a one-night stand, and a score based on their suitability for a long-term relationship.
Blake dubiously claims that the most common email he gets from female readers criticises the meanness of these categories but applauds their accuracy. "Oh my god, I am exactly one of those types," Blake retells in a post on eastasiangf.com. "Please stop talking about them; it's not nice. But it IS exactly right. How do you know so much about them!?" It's clear that Blake is incredibly proud of his "17 types" analysis. He wants to be viewed as a shrewd and insightful figure with a keen eye for what women are really like. In reality, he's doing nothing more than sorting women into long-standing and ever-pervasive gender stereotypes. They are the same hollow, vacuous cliches that have been around long before people like Blake adopted them for their own personal profit.
Perhaps, the most egregious description that Blake uses is for "The Alcoholic." Despite calling the commonality of this type in Korea "frightening," he sees no issue in exploiting any potential vulnerability this person might have for personal gain. He warns, however, that "because of her years of high alcohol intake, don't expect much prettiness from this one. Most are around a 3-7".
Blake insists that getting a woman so drunk that she is like a "rag doll" is something to be avoided at all costs. "You might end up cockblocked by the alcohol you've given her." However, he keeps those distinctions alarmingly fuzzy by repeatedly suggesting the route to success with The Alcoholic by supplying her with drinks.
He also talks about how these "usually young cheap dates" have little value outside of sexual encounters. Blake argues that because of this groups alcohol indulgence, they should not be considered for long term relationships under any circumstance. "If she wakes up in the morning and can't remember WHAT she did, it's only a matter of time before she wakes up not remembering WHO she did.".
“In Blake’s view, men who sleep with many women are heroes that other males should learn from and admire. Women who do the same, however, are figures of disgust, who players should ultimately avoid. ”
This alludes to the hypocrisy right at the core of Blake's beliefs about gender politics. In his view, men who sleep with many women are heroes that other males should learn from and admire. Women who do the same, however, are figures of disgust, who players should ultimately avoid. Men should constantly search for "good" or "high-value" women: euphemisms for conformity to the contradictions of the male gaze. She should be good-looking but modest, chaste-seeming but "up for it". Conversely, the values that he considers "good" in men are those he abhors in women; promiscuity and adeptness in deceit. Blake effectively views peer mating as a zero-sum game. He has an "us vs them", "the hunter vs the hunted" mentality. Every time a male has persuaded a female to sleep with them, he has conquered something in her; he has been victorious. When a woman sleeps with a man, she has, in essence, lost something to him. She has been defeated.
Blake's "17 types" often draw heavily from stereotypes about Asian women, but this is not the only section on his site that does this. He writes about how Korean women (and Korean men) should not be trusted. Without any sense of irony, he argues that Korean people will always otherise you and that you will never truly be accepted by anyone here.
He regularly invokes the stereotype that Korean women are particularly feminine and subservient as a basis for their appeal. To illustrate this point, Blake tells the story of when he accidentally cut his finger while cooking. According to him, he invited over a woman he had been pursuing to help bandage him up. The woman had been cold and distant until he "gave her the chance to come and take care of him, which she was very eager to do so". She was much more receptive to his advances after that. Blake believes this was a direct effect of appealing her nurturing disposition. It's a damaging cliche that is often projected onto women but is particularly forced on Asian women: no matter how much females say otherwise, deep down, they yearn for traditional gender roles. "I don't care what feminists or "women subdued by the patriarchy" say," Blake writes in an older blog entry, "the fact is, they're bred into these roles".
He goes on to further describe the efficacy of having girls perform menial tasks for you. "Have her cook for you, clean your apartment, anything. In my experience, girls, especially Korean girls, love to help you out. It's a great way to get extra use out of the women you date. It's also a good way of maintaining interest in a girl," Blake says. "If she wants to be kept around for more than just a few sperm donations, she needs to bring something to the table that is more than just what's between her legs."
“Every night they cast a wide net, banging their head against as many doors as possible until eventually, one woman says “ok”. They call this “success”, and for a small fee, they can teach you to do the same.”
While it's easy to despise the likes of Blake and Heath for their incredible regressive views on race and gender and their rancid attitudes towards respect and consent, a part of me also views them as tragic, pitiful figures. Having spoken to Blake and at least one of the women he's been involved with, I can attest that there is a severe disconnect between his perception of himself and reality. I do not doubt that these boys have, at the very least, an above-average number of sexual encounters. But their perception of how they do it, of how they get there, is completely divorced from the world the rest of us live in. In their minds, they're a Hugh Hefner, James Bond, Alfie type who have red-pilled themselves into desirability. The reality is that through a warped combination of flattery, psychological manipulation, coercion and exploitation, they've badgered enough women into sleeping with them that they feel justified in calling themselves "alphas". Every night they cast a wide net, banging their head against as many doors as possible until eventually, one woman says "ok". They call this "success", and for a small fee, they can teach you to do the same.
So, why write an article like this at all? Why give oxygen to the dumpster fire that is Korea's ex-pat PUAs? Well, to an extent, this article attempts to avoid that. All of the names here have been changed. All of the websites are different. I have edited all the quotes used to retain the original sentiment but make them difficult to find online. The absolute last thing I want to do is give "Heath" and "Blake" a larger platform. It is, however, vital to draw attention to the existence of people like this. To spread the word that these people exist so that we're all better able to push back against it. The more aware people are of Blake, Heath, and their teachings, the better chance they will have to make informed decisions about them.
A few months after my encounter with Blake, I met up again with our mutual connection, who had now become a friend. I asked her about Blake, what she knew about him and how she felt about it. She told me that she had no idea about "Game in Korea" until a friend told her much later. She recalls that her initial reaction was one of complete mortification. She was disgusted by the content on the site. She told me that, had she known what he was like, she would never have given him the time of day. It's for this exact reason that we need to talk about people like him.
